Regrets...

Achanceyougottatake Sports has a confession: I missed my most ardent Hoops supporter, my Cullen surfing, favorite Cuz’s (which I can say, because he’s my only cousin who actually reads the blog) wedding. I had a valid excuse (although not a valid excuse for not sending along my best wishes and a marriage confirming Tupence), but still I’ve regretted it every day since June. Seriously, every day. I feel terrible. I think about missing out on his wedding with a startling regularity. Not being there on his day was terrible and I sincerely regret having to move that weekend. So, in honor of Big Cuz and the wedding I missed, lets take a look at the NBA’s thirty teams and something each of them regrets. It might not be a congratulatory Tupence, but it’s something.

Boston Celtics – The Celtics should be regretting sending the 7th pick to Portland for Sebastion Telfair (with Raef LaFrentz and Theo Ratliff also switching postal codes). Two years ago pundits killed the Trailblazers for reaching up to 13th to take Telfair and since then he’s done just enough to lose his place as Portland’s PG of the future. So, logically, giving up a HIGHER pick for him makes sense.

New Jersey Nets – The Nets have a solid team, but they surely regret not finding a solid low post presence to provide some rebounding and balance to their attack.

New York Knicks – How many words is this supposed to be? Let me see, the Knicks regret the Stephon Marbury trade, they regret the Eddy Curry trade, the Jalen Rose trade, the Steve Francis trade, the Malik Rose trade, the Jamal Crawford signing, picking Renaldo Blackman 20th, the Jered Jeffries signing, and oh yeah that slim hard worker Jerome James and his contract. Surely, we could just sum this all up into two words: Isaiah and… ahhh… uhmm… Thomas.

Philadelphia 76ers – It might be the Samuel Dalembert deal, but given how gimpy he’s been so far this year, I think the Sixers really regret the Chris Webber deal.

Toronto Raptors – The Raptors shouldn’t regret trading Charlie Villaneuva to the Bucks, but they should regret only getting TJ Ford in return. Given Ford’s anemic shooting, injury history and the NBA’s never trade BIG for small motto, this was a bad deal from its inception. At least the Raptors needed some draft picks.

Chicago Bulls – I’d think that after last night’s defeat the Bulls lack of a pure scorer is something they regret. Ben Wallace was a good recruit, but 16 million for somebody who doesn’t put the ball through the hoop… ouch.

Cleveland Cavaliers – I’d think the Cavs regret taking that LeBron James kid first in 2003 over Darko Millic. Big regret, huge. I might be kidding about this one…

Detroit Pistons – The Pistons should be regretting replacing Wallace with Nazr Mohammed. Terrible decision, like the Republicans replacing George W. with Jed.

Indiana Pacers – I think that the Pacers will ultimately regret not blowing this team up. It seems to me that they’re destined to bob around 6th, which is disappointing two years after looking like basketball’s best team.

Milwaukee Bucks – The Bucks are regretting the fact that they live in Milwaukee and really, who can blame them, for while Milwaukee was once the world’s foremost beer producer, they now only have Miller… Ughhh…

Atlanta Hawks – Well given the way Joe Johnson and Boris Diaw have started this season, it could be argued that the Hawks are no longer regretting their acquisition of Johnson (although next June they’ll regret including this years pick), but they still are regretting passing on Chris Paul with the 2nd pick in 2004’s draft.

Charlotte Bobcats – I think the ‘Cats must regret not swapping the 5th and 13th picks (or Raymond Felton and Sean May) on draft night two years ago for Paul. Yes, they’re both UNC kids, but Paul’s also from North Carolina and, well, he might already be the NBA’s best point guard.

Miami Heat – They spent all summer celebrating Miami’s first NBA championship, so I cannot imagine they’re regretting much right now, but by next May they might be regretting bringing back the same (read: old) team.

Orlando Magic – Since his ass is still rotting in Spain, I’d have to think the Magic are regretting taking Fran Vazquez in 2005, especially with Hermione’s big brother Danny still on the board.

Washington Wizards – I think Washington is regretting changing their name from the fear inducing Bullets to that wimpy Wizards, because nobody actually reads anything about Wizards, or their bushy haired friends.

Denver Nuggets – Kenyon Martin. KenYon MarTin. KENYON MARTIN. That’s a lot of money for a player whose knee is shot.

Minnesota Timberwolves – Like the Knicks, there’s a lot on the T-Wolves roster for them to regret and it could all be tossed on the shoulders of Kevin McHale, but I’m going to say that the Wolves will regret not trading Kevin Garnett to the Bulls.

Portland Trailblazers – Well, pick your poison. Do they regret the Theo Ratliff deal (and yes, they traded him, but in return they had to bring in Raef LaFrentz), or the Zach Randolph deal? Ratliff’s gone, Randolph’s playing like Moses Malone, so lets just go with not trading Darius Miles, he of the broken knee and 34 million bucks remaining, to the Knicks last year for Antonio Davis’ expiring contract.

Seattle Supersonics – They probably regret not teaching defense in training camp. Or maybe they regret taking a basketball mad city and turning it into a candidate for relocation. Although who can blame ownership, I mean, who the heck needs lattes when you have Cowboys. Lattes are just milky coffee, but Cowboys… they have hats, ropes, pointy boots, horses, and cattle prods. Come on, you know you’d rather have a cattle prod than a latte.

Utah Jazz – Well, Deron Williams is playing pretty well, but still, we know that if they answered honestly, Jerry Sloan and Jazz GM Kevin O’Connor regret not taking Chris Paul instead. I know what you’re thinking, I’m slurping up so much to Chris Paul that you think I might have a bigger man crush on him than Sasha Baron Cohen, well that’s just crazy. There’s nobody I “heart” more than Borat… No, serisously the reason Paul keeps coming up is because the NBA’s new rules benefit teams with a great point guard and Paul is the best to come along in a decade. He should have been the first pick in that draft, at worst second after Bogut. Instead he went fourth and many other teams passed up the opportunity to trade up for him. The Jazz, 41-41 probably make the playoffs last year with Paul instead of Williams.

Golden State Warriors – Well, they might regret being named Golden State, which surely limits their marketability. Or perhaps they regret not making the playoffs while Big Cuz still lived in their city, but honestly when it comes to the Warriors is there any other answer than Mike Dunleavy?

L.A. Clippers – Things are looking pretty rosy in Clipperdom these days, so it’s hard to find things that they regret, but if forced to choose, I’d think they will regret the deal they gave to Tim Thomas. That’s a lot of money for a guy who’s never played hard and only lived up to his potential for one postseason.

L.A. Lakers - With the emergence of Andrew Bynum (and really, even without it), the Lakers should be regretting the deal that sent Caron Butler to Washington for Kwame Brown. The Lakers then overpaid Brown, compounding the mistake.

Phoenix Suns – Everybody’s getting a little antsy about their 1-5 start, but that doesn’t really bother me. What does bother me, is the Suns trading away the 21st pick in the draft and then instead signing Marcus Banks. They gave Banks 20 million for four years, when they could have drafted Rajon Rondo and paid him 6.5 million for four years. That’s a huge difference for a team that’s stuck tight up against the luxury tax. They also might regret adding Jalen Rose, who replicates skills they already have and provides nothing of what they need (i.e.: defense).

Sacramento Kings – The Kings are regretting that they aren’t already in their owners’ hometown: Las Vegas, where they could be mowing down on $1.00 steaks, watching world class showgirls, and tossing the occasional quarter in the occasional slot.

Dallas Mavericks – Well, I don’t know. Given his two MVP awards, they might be regretting letting Nash walk, of course they went to the finals last year, so perhaps not.

Houston Rockets – Long term the Rockets might regret trading Rudy Gay for Shane Battier. Of course, if Gay plays with the same passion in the pros that he played with at UConn, then they’ll just regret Jeff Van Gundy stagnating their offence.

Memphis Grizzlies – At this point, I’d think the grizzlies might be regretting letting star forward Pau Gasol play in the World Championships. Perhaps, just maybe.

New Orleans Hornets – Everything looks rosy when you’re off to a 4-1 start and the Hornets are of course the team that made the CORRECT decision in drafting Chris Paul, but… they did give Peja Stojakovic a LOT of money and despite their hot start, Peja has SUCKED.

San Antonio Spurs – I think they probably regret not devising a better final shot in their overtime game 7 loss to the Mavericks last Spring, especially after watching the finals and knowing that they could have beaten Miami. Oh well, there’s always this year.

Which I guess is the only thing you can do with regrets. Think about them, learn from them, and make sure you don’t make the same mistake in the future. So, the next time Big Cuz and his new Bride, Ms. Big Cuz, decide to celebrate their love in front of friends and family, I’ll be there tail between my legs and Tupence in hand.