Here Cometh the Man (Child)...

Once every four or five years, a young man comes out of the amateur ranks who imediately changes imposes himself on the NBA game. Somebody who means fifteen years of playoff appearances, three or four championships, and sold out arenas for the team lucky enough to draft them. In 1980 the Lakers took Ervin “Magic” Johnson number one. They then won five titles before HIV forced the effervescent great to retire. In 1984 the Chicago Bulls used the 3rd pick on Michael Jordan. Maybe you’ve never heard of him, but I think he won a title, or six for the Bulls. In 1992 a smiling behemoth jumped from LSU to the NBA and in his third season took the Orlando Magic to the NBA finals. The Magic might have rode him to a couple championships, but an out clause in his contract allowed Shaquille O’Neal to cross the country and land in LA. Three straight championships eventually followed, before his ugly divorce found him back in Florida, this time in Miami, for a fourth title. In 1997 the Boston Celtics had two lottery picks and a terrible 15-67 record. They were so ready to get Tim Duncan that he even appeared beside coach Rick Pitino on the cover of Sports Illustrated… San Antonio won the lottery and took Duncan. In the nine years since that draft, the Celtics have won a total of three playoff series, the Spurs have won three NBA titles. Finally in 2003 a young man came out of high school so ready to compete that in his rookie season, LeBron James averaged 20.9 points. That’s 7.4 more than Amare Stoudemire threw down in his rookie campaign, 10.5 more than Kevin Garnett produced in his first year, and a whopping 13.3 more than Mr. Kobe Bryant produced in the first year of his partnership with Shaq. Sure, LBJ hasn’t led Cleveland to a championship yet, but he’s only in year four. Why does all this matter? Because the NBA is standing on the edge of another transcendent talent: Greg Oden. He’s the reason the 76ers traded Allen Iverson and cut bait with Chris Webber, he’s the reason the Supersonics, going nowhere, except perhaps Oklahoma, should consider trading Ray Allen, why the Hornets shouldn’t sweat the injuries to David West and Peja Stojackovic, and why the Bulls are hopping Isaiah Thomas makes another roster damaging move.

This season isn’t about the NBA championship, it's about vying for ping pong balls. As many ping pong balls as possible. Because, what good is being mediocre, if you’re just good enough to miss out on Greg Oden. While Oden is saying all the right things about spending more than one year at Columbus, there is no debate about his place at the top of a loaded draft (Joakim Noah, who would have gone number 1 last spring could fall to fifth). So, in the midst of January, post Christmas, post boxing day doldrums, lets take a look at a few of the best landing spots for the most hyped collegiate big man since Patrick Ewing (O’Neal and Duncan both had greater professional impact, but less collegiate hype). Yes, he would instantly help Philly, Memphis, and Charlotte, but here are five places where Oden would be in the playoffs next year.

With the number one pick in the 2007 draft, the Seattle Supersonics select… Greg Oden:

Perhaps there is no team that could use Oden more than the Sonics, who are devoid of a superstar, are on the verge of leaving their home, and are languishing in mediocrity. Despite his age, Oden could help the Sonics right now, with his defensive savvy alone. To increase the likelihood of landing the big man, the Sonics would be wise to part with a couple of players who make them just good enough, to win 40 games and barely miss the playoffs. So, they should be needling the Bulls, who need consistent offence and have an enticing stable of young talent into parting with Ben Gordon, Tyrus Thomas, and P.J. Brown’s expiring deal for Ray Allen. This deal helps the Sonics dive under the cap for next season and brings them a tough young front court presence to pair alongside Oden. Gordon’s streaky, but he’s still capable of being a 20 point per game scorer in this league. Next they should trade Earl Watson to the point guard needy Cavaliers for Scott Pollard, A. Pavlovic and D. Jones. All three are free agents and should be immediately cut. Two more minor deals (Robert Swift and Damien Wilkins for Josh Childress, Royal Ivey, and Salim Stoudemire, and Johan Petro to Charlotte for a pair of second round picks) save a little money and clear out the log jam at center created by Oden’s arrival. The money saved from each of those deals puts the Sonics well under the salary cap, which is good because for all of this team’s strengths what it lacks is a veteran leader. Chauncey Billups is a free agent and perfectly fits the bill.
PG – C. Billups, L. Ridnour
SG – B. Gordon, J. Childress, and S. Stoudemire
SF – R. Lewis, M. Gelabale
PF – T. Thomas, N. Collison, C. Wilcox
C – G. Oden, M Sene
The shooting of Billups, Gordon, and Lewis pairs perfectly with Oden. Thomas can develop into a defensive monster who cleans the glass and gets energy points. This team’s good, real good.

With the number one pick in the 2007 draft, the Atlanta Hawks select… Greg Oden:

The Hawks are a lot like Britney Spears, there are so many problems right now, that it’s hard to know how to start the healing process. There’s the injury problems, the overmatched coach, the worst GM in the NBA not named Isaiah or Kevin, the dead arena, the ugly ownership issue, the lack of a salient point guard, and, oh yeah, the lack of a decent post presence. Ah, but if anything can straighten most of those problems out right away (besides of course, someone, anyone, firing Billy Knight), it’s getting Greg Oden. The Hawks, who are somewhat hamstrung by the ownership debacle, should start by trading away backup point guard Tyronn Lue. Actually Lue has been better than starter Speedy Claxton this year, but I can’t imagine anyone pony-ing up for Claxton’s remaining 18 million. If they can find a taker, then awesome, but for now lets just go with trading Lue to the (stop me if you’ve heard this one before) point guard needy Cavaliers for Scott Pollard and A. Pavlovic. If you’re getting a sense of deja-vu, then you’re on to something, because freeing up that little bit of room allows the Hawks to make a big push for… Mr. Billups.
PG – C. Billups, S. Claxton
SG – J. Johnson, J. Childress, S. Stoudemire
SF – J. Smith, M. Williams
PF – S. Williams, S. Jones
C – G. Oden, Z. Pachulia, L. Wright
Now, saying a team can win the East is kind of being damned with faint praise, but this team looks pretty formidable. Billups and Johnson would easily be the East’s best backcourt, a front line of Oden, Josh Smith and Sheldon Williams would be formidable on opposing scorers, and Marvin Williams could focus on winning a 6th man of the year award.

With the number one pick in the 2007 draft, the Portland Trailblazers select… Greg Oden:

Is there another fan base in the NBA that deserves having Oden arrive more than the Rose Garden faithful? After years of pot busts, drunk driving, spousal abuse, pot busts, dog fighting, paternity suits, pot busts, threatening officials, trespassing, pot busts, spitting on fans, causing disturbances on airplanes, pot busts, gun possession, brawls and, oh yeah POT BUSTS... the Blazers have alienated some of the NBA’s most loyal fans (Honestly, I just googled “jailblazers” and not surprisingly there is a site dedicated to those special players who made Portland so beloved…). The Rose Garden used to be sold out every night, with fans who loved basketball, loved the NBA, and loved their Blazers most of all. The legacy paced from Bill Walton, the woolly, Dead Headed wonder (Hhmmm… there does seem to be a legacy of mara-juuuu-ana), to the ubber classy Clyde Drexler, to the human technical Rasheed Wallace, before finally landing on the exceptionally unclassy Zach Randolph. This fan base needs Greg Oden, they deserve Greg Oden, and I might even find myself cheering for them on pin pong day. They should look to trade Zach Randolph right now. Sure, he’s playing really well, but that just means his trade value couldn’t be higher. Finding a trade partner is tricky. I’d obviously call the Bulls first, but I doubt they want any part of Randolph. Memphis might be feeling desperate enough right now. They have Rudy Gay and Eddie Jones’ expiring deal, which could be traded for Randolph, Travis Outlaw, and Juan Dixon. Memphis would have to include their first round pick (number one protected of course), but it’s still a pretty sweet deal for the Grizzlies, which the Blazers only do because it frees up a lot of room to go after… Chauncey Billups. Damn, I really am starting to sound like a broken record. Look, I don’t mean to, if I thought that Steve Nash or Chris Paul could be pried from their teams I’d go after them, but a team drafting Oden is going to need a great floor general to get him the ball, knock down open shots, and be a leader (after all, Oden only looks 37), and, Billups is one of the best, and a free agent to boot. The draft pick is of course hard to prognosticate, but I’d imagine that with Randolph in the lineup, Memphis is good enough the rest of the way to almost make the playoffs, giving the Blazers a pick in the 12-14 range, where they select Thaddeus Young.
PG – C. Billups, J. Jack, S. Rodriguez
SG – B. Roy, M. Webster
SF – R. Gay, T. Young
PF – L. Aldridge, R. La Frentz
C – G. Oden, J. Przybilla
They’re incredibly young, but this team would be well coached (Nate McMillan is great) and they’d finally give the Blazers faithful something good (and sober) to cheer about.

With the number one pick in the 2007 draft, the New Orleans Hornets select… Greg Oden:

The last time the NBA’s best young point guard was paired with the NBA’s best young center was Orlando when Penny Hardaway helped O’Neal lead the Magic to the NBA finals. Of course, we never got to see how good that tandem could be, but for the folks of New Orleans, so abused over the past year, the Oden and Chris Paul tandem would be blissful. They would play some sweet music together and likely for a long time. Oden’s arrival might even help Peja Stojakovic rediscover his sweet shooting stroke.
PG – C. Paul, B. Jackson
SG – ???????
SF – P. Stojakovic, R. Butler
PF – D. West, T. Chandler, C. Simmons
C – G. Oden, H. Armstrong
Sure, they’re missing a shooting guard and their bench guys could improve, but this team makes the playoffs next year (in the West no less) and has a very bright future.

With the number one pick in the 2007 draft, the Boston Celtics select… Greg Oden:

Just when the Celtics were starting to play their best ball, Paul Pierce goes down with a stress reaction in his right foot. He wont be out long, but the fans of this once great team surely hope he’s out long enough to drop them down the pin pong pecking order. Oden would join a long list of glorious Celtic players and might even allow Pierce (considerably underrated in Celtics lore) to gain the recognition he deserves. The real question would be, is Oden good enough to eradicate the shroud which has hung over the franchise since Len Bias’ death? If anyone can return the Celtics to their rightful place atop the NBA hierarchy, it would be the man who’s frequently compared to Bill Russell. After taking Oden, the Celtics would no longer need wait for Al Jefferson to develop and could package him along with Sebastion Telfair, and Theo Ratliff’s expiring contract to the (soon to be) rebuilding New Jersey Nets for Jason Kidd. Sure Kidd’s lost a couple steps, but he’s the perfect floor leader to combine with Pierce and Oden. After those moves, the Celtics look like this:
PG – J. Kidd, R. Rondo
SG – P. Pierce, D. West, T. Allen
SF – G. Green, W. Szczerbiak
PF – R. Gomes, B. Scalabrine, and L. Powe
C – G. Oden, K. Perkins
They might want to make a coaching change, but even Doc Rivers would be hard pressed not to take this team to the finals.

And One Team That Instantly Becomes the Title Favorite:

With the number one pick in the 2007 draft, the Chicago Bulls select… Greg Oden:

The Knicks seem to be playing just well enough (and the East is just pathetic enough), that the Bulls’ possibility for Oden is slipping away, but still, landing in Chicago would be the best possible spot for the man-child. Right now, the Bulls are loaded for the future, but with Oden… Damn. As soon as I knew that Oden would be mine, I’d put Ben Gordan and Tyrus Thomas in a package with the cap space from P.J. Brown’s expiring contract and see who stepped forward with a veteran guard to lead this team. First choice, Boston’s Paul Pierce, but Ray Allen would work too. I’d love to see the team that tries to score inside on a front line anchored by Oden and four time defensive player of the year Ben Wallace. Defensively the team’s already dominant, add Oden and some maturity from Sefolosha and watch out.
PG – K. Hinrich, C. Duhon
SG – P. Pierce, T. Sefolosha, A. Griffin
SF – L. Deng, A. Nocioni, V. Khrypya
PF – B. Wallace, M. Allen
C – G. Oden, M. Andriuskevicius
The only word for the Bulls future would be: dominant.

And (Finally) One For 2008:

With the number one pick in the 2008 draft, the Phoenix Suns select… Greg Oden:

If indeed Oden does return to Ohio State for next year (and right now I’d put the odds at 60-40 that he does) and Atlanta finishes with a top three pick this year (again, solid to good odds), then the possibility arises that Phoenix could get Oden with the top pick in 2008. Certainly this relies on a lot of far fetched scenarios, but with the ineptness of the Hawks, the possibility cannot be ignored. Realistically, it’s hard to predict how the Suns’ lineup would look after drafting Oden, because they may well trade Shawn Marion in the coming offseason (for luxury tax reasons), but still I cannot help to imagine… Even without the Hawks’ pick, the Suns have two draft picks this year. I’m assuming that they will use them on Corey Brewer and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute . Why am I assuming this? Mostly because it makes an @$$ out of you (I, obviously, am one already), but also because I think that both players will be available roughly when the Suns select and both fit with what the Suns need.
PG – S. Nash, L. Barbosa, M. Banks
SG – R. Bell, C. Brewer
SF – S. Marion, L. Mbah a Moute
PF – A. Stoudemire, S. Marks
C – G. Oden, B. Diaw, P. Burke
Ok, ok, I admit, it’s too much, just too much. They’d never all co-exist together, even with Nash. It’s probably for the best that Atlanta end up with the fifth pick in next years draft and the Suns can just go select Joakim Noah instead…