Visiting the Magical Land of Make Believe...

Feeling down? The never ending barrage of rain making it hard to smile? Or maybe it’s the crappy fortunes of your favorite NBA franchise? The season is only two weeks old, but for a number of NBA teams things already look pretty bleak (except of course for BigCuz and his 4-2 Warriors). When I get blue, I like walk down the hall of my building and visit my favorite neighbor, Mr. Robinson. Kids, you all remember Mr. Robinson right? He’s the guy who looks a lot like a funny Eddie Murphy, you know the young one who was all edgy and raw. He’s the neighbor who sells drugs and whom Mr. Landlord has been trying to evict, but don’t let that sway you, he truly is a swell guy. You can tell by the nice sweater vest he always wears when he gets home. Well anyhow, when I get down I like to venture over to Mr. Robinson’s and first I make sure that I clearly identify myself – lest he shoot first ask who later – and then I tell him I’m feeling low and he suggests we visit the land of make believe, because kids in the land of make believe your NBA team can make a move which will actually increase its chances of going to the playoffs, as opposed to trading pouty superstar Vince Carter for an expensive ostensibly (as least as far as the Raptors were concerned) retired Alonzo Mounring and two beach blankets. What’s that? They weren’t blankets, they were NBA players Eric Williams and Aaron Williams? Well they might as well be blankets, because I’ve never seen them anywhere but draped over the bench… So, along with MR. Robinson, let us go to the magical land of make believe and examine three trades which should happen (and rest assured that I have done the requisite leg work to ensure that each trade works under the NBA’s salary cap rules, although a couple cannot take place until December):

Charlotte sends PG Brevin Knight, PF Melvin Ely, a 2006 1st Round Pick, and a 2007 Second Round Selection to the Atlanta Hawks for SF Marvin Williams and G Tony Delk.

Why the Hawks Should Do It: Because the team is in desperate need of a point guard and has an abundance of players (Joe Johnson, Josh Childress, Josh Smith, Marvin Williams, Al Harrington) whose games are eerily similar. Williams might one day be the best of the those guys, but right now he just looks lost. The Hawks need to whittle down the wings, get some strength in the middle and someone to consistently distribute the ball – because Tyrone Lue just isn’t going to get it done (the Joe Johnson at point experiment lasted a whole two games). The draft pick will give Atlanta two in the lottery this year, so they can get future stars at the point and center, while Knight gives them someone capable for now and a heady tutor for Rajon Rondo or Daniel Gibson. Ely also gives the Hawks a productive post presence for the bench.

Why the Bobcats Should Do It: Williams was the player they wanted from this years draft. He’s a future superstar with North Carolina Tar Heal routes. Instead they took PG Raymond Felton and PF Sean May, and while May will likely be a mistake, Felton is looking like a real find, thus making Knight expendable. This offseason the Bobcats will finally be privy to the full salary cap (the NBA limits the cap threshold of new franchises), which means they will have the money to go out and fill some of their holes, thus losing the draft choice isn’t as damaging. Getting Williams would allow them to create a future front line of Williams, 2005 rookie of the year Emeka Okafor, and Primoz Brezec. Delk is just in there for salary cap purposes.

The Bottom Line: The trade helps both teams, Atlanta has gone into the past two offseasons with oodles of cap room, but is seen as such an albatross that only Joe Johnson took their money, so they need to stockpile draft picks and use them wisely (easier said then done for the Hawks). The Bobcats on the other hand are seen as a new franchise which could well be on the rise, bringing in Williams in exchange for this years pick is a no brainer.

Portland sends SF Darius Miles, SF Ruben Patterson, C Theo Ratliff, and SG Juan Dixon to New York for PG Stephon Marbury and PF Antonio Davis.

Why the Knicks Should Do It: Nobody doubts that the Larry Brown – Stephon Marbury experiment is going to end badly, it’s just a question of when and what can Isaiah get for Marbury. In this package they get two talented defenders, which will make Brown happy, and a young talented head case, which will make Isaiah happy. Dixon is there to make the salaries work, but maybe he could crack Brown’s erratic rotation. Miles is leading the Trail Blazers in scoring and would help replace some of Marbury’s punch (although he would likely drive Brown nuts). Ratliff would add to the center/forward mess that the Knicks have taken on (Eddy Curry, Jerome James, Channing Frye, Maurice Taylor, Malik Rose, along with Davis), but at least he plays defense and knows Larry Brown (under whom he was quite successful in Philadelphia). Ratliff is way overpaid, but then again Thomas is the man who gave Jerome James 29 million for five years of fat, unproductive play (… and then hired Brown a man who would never play a player of James’s ilk, god, I could write a whole column about this inanity).

Why the Trail Blazers Should Do It: When Portland GM John Nash was hired he was given a three pronged directive: clean up the team’s decrepit image, decrease the unruly payroll, and get the team back into the playoffs. All of which was a pretty difficult task, but one in which Nash seemed particularly incapable of doing (he gave bad boy power forward Zach Randolph a max extension that was likely not warranted, over paid for Ratliff, and generally decreased the talent level across the board). Still most of the notorious members of the “Jail Blazers” have been extricated and this trade would get rid of the wife abusing Patterson and the coach fighting Miles. In return it would bring back Marbury, who for all of his faults (lack of leadership, hip hop image, get mine attitude) is an extremely gifted athlete who hasn’t run afoul of the law, It would also allow Portland to pair him in the backcourt with his cousin, Sebastion Telfair in what would be a fast, shifty, proficient and exciting pairing. Davis gives the team a quality workmanlike forward/center whose 14 million comes off the books this year.

The Bottom Line: It’s a classic case of one man’s refuse is another man’s antique armoire. The salaries involved are so exorbitant that there are not many other teams who could be involved (the number of rumored trades involving Marbury to teams that logistically cannot absorb his salary is ridiculous), but these two have been rumored for weeks to be dancing. It’s time for them to finish the flirting and get their hands on each others hips. Neither trade completes the work the teams need, but it would be a start.

Minnesota sends PF Kevin Garnett to Chicago for SF Tim Thomas, SG Ben Gordan, PF Mike Sweetney, and 2 1st draft choices.

Why the Bulls Should Do It: Uhmmm, HELLO, are you paying attention? I just wrote the Bulls acquire local boy Garnett for, well who the heck cares what they acquire him for, the point is they acquire Kevin Garnett. Yes, Gordan was the 6th man last year and Sweetney is a talented youngster, but Garnett would instantly make Chicago a title contender.

Why the Timberwolves Should Do It: Are you kidding, they shouldn’t, they probably wouldn’t, but the rumours that Garnett has requested a trade just wont quite die out, and this would give the T-wolves two talented youngsters, two draft picks, and Thomas’s expiring contract to start their rebuilding. Gordon needs to develop some consistency and work on his defense, but he is a dynamic sorer, and when finally given the minutes, Sweetney will be a force on the low block. Still, unless the name coming back is LeBron James, or possibly some combination involving Dwayne Wade and Amare Stoudemire, you simply can NOT trade Kevin Garnett.

The Bottom Line: This trade is tantalizing because it would mean the Bulls could field a towering front line of uber athletic, uber skinny 7-footers, Garnett and Tyson Chandler. Teams would never score against the Bulls already suffocating D and Garnett would give them a superstar presence on offence. Of course, unless T-Wolves’ GM Kevin McHale and owner Glen Taylor have a Rob Babcock-like brain fart Garnett wont be playing for anyone else. A slightly more likely scenario would be the Wolves agreeing to trade Garnett if another team also took Wally Szczerbiak and his outrageous contract away. The Bulls do have the expiring contracts to make it happen, but it would mean a 102 million investment from chairman Jerry Riensdorf, who is likely too distracted celebrating his Chicago White Sox’s victory to make that kind of commitment. So, it’s unlikely Garnett is going anywhere, but if you’re a Bulls fan and you take a stroll to Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood the land of make believe can help ease the mid-November blues.